Y’all. This is going to be one of the hardest posts I’ve ever written to publish. I’m going to be very vulnerable and share part of my story with you. I write this hoping it brings awareness and also encouragement and support to those who have shared a similar experience. Here goes:
I am 1 in 10.
At age 11, I was sexually abused by a family member. I am 1 in 10.
Experiencing sexual abuse, especially as a child, changes you. You feel ashamed and utterly alone. I thought it was my fault, and I didn’t want anyone to know. I buried that as deep as I could, and I tried to forget it.
A couple years later, my mom had a conversation with me on what I should do if someone tried to touch me inappropriately. You think that I would have opened up to her right then and there, right? Wrong. I struggled with that shame for 7 long years.
Finally, at 18, I spoke up. I read an article about a girl who had been sexually abused by a family member, and I began sobbing. I started to realize that I was not alone. I started to realize that it was never my fault. I finally told my parents. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders; I no longer had to carry that secret around.
I just want to tell you right now- If you have been sexually abused, it is not your fault. Did you hear me? It is NOT your fault. Do not keep that buried inside. Let that shame go. It is NOT your fault.
Being sexually abused changes you- mentally and emotionally. And although you may be able to sympathize, you really won’t understand how much it changes you unless you’ve experienced it yourself. If you’re reading this and you don’t feel like anyone will understand, feel free to message me: Bekahnomics@gmail[dot]com .
I feel like recovering from an experience like this is a process. There were so many false beliefs in my head that I had written on my heart that had to be corrected. It’s a process.
The devil uses experiences like this to feed lies to us; he wants us isolated and ashamed. He wants us to feel so alone and at fault. John 10:10 tell us “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” He comes to steal our joy, our happiness, our lives. He wants to destroy us by whatever means possible.
If you continue reading the rest of the verse, Jesus says “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Y’all. There is healing from sexual abuse. There is joy and happiness and a full life.
I’m going to be writing another post about the aftermath of sexual abuse, and what this process of walking through healing has looked like for me. I’ll cross link both posts.
Please reach out to someone if you’re keeping that buried inside. There is life and joy and happiness.