We changed up the upstairs bathroom with a can of paint and a new shower curtain. The color was just too dark for the bathroom in my opinion. It’s hard to tell from the picture, but it was this dark grayish purple color.
I feel like it’s so much more relaxing now! ❤️
Y’all. This is going to be one of the hardest posts I’ve ever written to publish. I’m going to be very vulnerable and share part of my story with you. I write this hoping it brings awareness and also encouragement and support to those who have shared a similar experience. Here goes:
I am 1 in 10.
At age 11, I was sexually abused by a family member. I am 1 in 10.
Experiencing sexual abuse, especially as a child, changes you. You feel ashamed and utterly alone. I thought it was my fault, and I didn’t want anyone to know. I buried that as deep as I could, and I tried to forget it.
A couple years later, my mom had a conversation with me on what I should do if someone tried to touch me inappropriately. You think that I would have opened up to her right then and there, right? Wrong. I struggled with that shame for 7 long years.
Finally, at 18, I spoke up. I read an article about a girl who had been sexually abused by a family member, and I began sobbing. I started to realize that I was not alone. I started to realize that it was never my fault. I finally told my parents. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders; I no longer had to carry that secret around.
I just want to tell you right now- If you have been sexually abused, it is not your fault. Did you hear me? It is NOT your fault. Do not keep that buried inside. Let that shame go. It is NOT your fault.
Being sexually abused changes you- mentally and emotionally. And although you may be able to sympathize, you really won’t understand how much it changes you unless you’ve experienced it yourself. If you’re reading this and you don’t feel like anyone will understand, feel free to message me: Bekahnomics@gmail[dot]com .
I feel like recovering from an experience like this is a process. There were so many false beliefs in my head that I had written on my heart that had to be corrected. It’s a process.
The devil uses experiences like this to feed lies to us; he wants us isolated and ashamed. He wants us to feel so alone and at fault. John 10:10 tell us “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” He comes to steal our joy, our happiness, our lives. He wants to destroy us by whatever means possible.
If you continue reading the rest of the verse, Jesus says “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Y’all. There is healing from sexual abuse. There is joy and happiness and a full life.
I’m going to be writing another post about the aftermath of sexual abuse, and what this process of walking through healing has looked like for me. I’ll cross link both posts.
Please reach out to someone if you’re keeping that buried inside. There is life and joy and happiness.
I shared a little last week about how I was running on fumes: exhausted, burnt out, and apathetic.
There are only a few times I’ve ever been apathetic in life: when I was either feeling burnt out or my self esteem was in the toilets, or maybe a little of both.
I realize now that I was so concerned with busting my butt to make my business successful that I forgot to take care of me and what was good for my heart.
The other day, I downloaded a karaoke app on my phone and spent hours just singing along to songs on my phone. I forgot how much joy singing brings to me. Y’all, my heart was so full.
You’ve been given passions for a reason. Do more of what brings you joy every day. ❤️ if you’re at a point of exhaustion and burn out, go pursue those things that inspire you and make you feel passionate again.
A little while ago, I wrote a post about 7 things they didn’t tell you about beauty school. Here’s the original post. Then, I realized I had a few more that were left off that list. So here are 7 more things they didn’t tell you about beauty school.
1. The color wheel is your best friend. When you are working with hair color, keep a picture of the color wheel close to you. (I have a tattoo on my arm.) The color wheel will answer a lot of your questions if you know how to use it.
2. You will question this career choice. You will have bad days. You will have days that make you question whether or not you should quit. You will have days you just can’t seem to do anything right. Keep going. The days that reassure you chose the right career will outnumber the others.
3. Take every opportunity given to you. You have an opportunity to go to a class and further your education in beauty school? Take it. It will only add to your growth during beauty school.
4. It’s not for everyone. Beauty school and this industry are not for everyone. It’s ok to admit that you bit off more than you can chew. It’s ok to realize that beauty school just isn’t for you. It’s not easy, and this career isn’t easy either. The number of people that will continue in this career long-term is few. You have to have a true passion and be willing to make some sacrifices to be successful in this industry. It’s perfectly ok if you don’t want to make those sacrifices. It’s ok if you no longer have the passion for it like you thought you did. ****Don’t confuse loss of passion with feeling burnt out though!**** (We can talk about that on another blog post.)
5. Find a mentor. See the girl in that picture pointing at me? That’s one of the most incredible women. She’s my mentor. Most of the things I know about hair I learned from her. When I’m struggling to figure out a formula or a placement, I send her a text and she talks me through it. When I want an honest critique, I send her a picture. She’s my cheerleader through good days and bad days. There are so many amazing people in this industry that are happy to share their wealth of knowledge if you’re willing to ask.
6. Embrace the moment. One of my biggest achievements was graduating beauty school. I never graduated from a traditional school, and beauty school took me giving everything I had to complete. Live in that moment of you did it for a little while!
7. Go get that license. Don’t take too long trying to pass state boards. You’ll forget more putting it off trying to give yourself extra time to study. It took me 3 1/2 weeks from my graduation date to actually be able to take state boards.
In exactly 19 days, I turn 30.
I’m gonna be real transparent with y’all. I have literally been dreading turning 30. It’s literally this ever approaching reminder that I don’t have my life together all wrapped up in this pretty little package.
There’s so much pressure to either be established in a career or be raising a family at 30. As I turn 30, I will have neither of those things. I decided to go back to school at 27 to get my cosmetology degree. I decided a couple months ago to uproot and move to a brand new place and start all over in my career. I am single, and I have no kids to raise.
If I linger too long listening to these societal norms of who and where I should be in life- I begin to feel insufficient, less than, or that I’ll never measure up. Then, I begin operating in fear- mostly fear of the unknown.
I begin playing the what if game. What if I never make it as a hairstylist here in Ohio? What if I sacrificed everything I built for nothing? What if I never get married? What if I never have children? These are all desires of my heart, and what if none of this happens for me?
This song speaks true. Fear will steal your joy if you let it, but fear is a liar.
This life is a journey, and it was never meant to be all wrapped up in a pretty package. Life is messy, but there’s beauty in the journey. Don’t let fear steal your joy. You are enough. You have always been enough. You are right where you are supposed to be. You are one day closer to those goals today than you were yesterday.
Don’t give up, and don’t give in to the fear of the unknown. You are worth more than you could imagine. You are right where you are supposed to be.
Alright 30, let’s do this!