I shared a meme on facebook the other day about being single because I’m a superhero. It made me laugh, but then I began thinking about singleness.
Why am I still single? I’ve been asked that question plenty of times. The tone of that question implies that I don’t measure up based on my relationship status. My initial reaction to that question is pure frustration. I had the hardest time with turning 30 and being single. Not only do I have to push back against societal standards of my age, now I have to push back against friends’ and family’s expectations. Please stop asking your single friends or family members why they are still single. Even though I know it’s not meant that way, it feels like I’m not accepted because I’m still single.
Once I move past the initial frustration, I can be a little more introspective.
Why am I still single?
The simple answer is that I haven’t found the right person.
While that’s completely true, there’s way more to it than that. Y’all, I suck at relationships. I’ve dated some great guys, and I’ve dated some not so great guys. Even the great guys weren’t great for me. My picker is broken.
I’ve been in relationship after relationship that left me empty and broken. I was chasing after love and gave everything away to try to secure that love in my life. I was left with tarnished credit, a pile of debt, feelings of inadequacy, a used body, and a broken heart.
The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same things and expecting different results. Y’all, I continued pursuing love in the same way expecting to find this great guy to spend the rest of my life with. Instead, my heart became more and more broken, my body more and more used, and my debt larger and larger. I forgot who I was and whose I was.
Y’all, I was searching for love that couldn’t be found in another person. I was searching for healing that couldn’t come from another person.
I couldn’t continue doing things the same way and expect a change. If I wanted true love and healing, I had to go to the source of love and healing. Y’all, I remembered who I am and whose I am. I am a child of the most high God who loves unconditionally and was waiting to heal my brokenness. And so are you.
Why am I still single?
Because I realize that I can’t have a great relationship apart from God. I’ve done things my way, and I have been left broken and empty. This time, I’m doing it God’s way.
I’m single because I’m waiting on God. I would rather be single than be in a mediocre relationship. God has something incredible for me, if I’m willing to wait on Him. He has something incredible for you too, if you are willing to wait on Him.